Family Fun Zone

Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It sucked.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were underutilized.
What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer: I can’t concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
What you should say: I’m a workaholic. I just [...]

MAN : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
WOMAN : NO, because you make me sick.
Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Pupil : “A teacher”.
Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”
Customer : “What other colors do you have?”
My father is so old that when [...]

If your in hell and your mad at someone where do you tell them to go?
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If women with big breasts work at Hooters, do people with one leg work at IHOP?
Why bugss bunny wears [...]

When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When there’s a will, I want to be in it.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
What’s the speed of dark?
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
If [...]

When you go to the dentist why do they give you a lollipop?
if money doesn’t grow on trees,….how come banks have branches??
Did you know that when you have a 50 percent chance of getting something right there is a 90 percent chance you’ll get it wrong?
Why is water wet?
Why does the sun lighten your hair [...]

How can there be self-help “groups”?
Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why isn’t [...]

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?
Why is there an expiration date [...]

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says “Not available in all states”?
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back [...]

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver’s license that [...]

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don’t they fall through the floor?
Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?
When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla [...]